Funky. Funkeriffic. Funkified.

In a word. In a funk.

The last few weeks have been hard.

I dont really know why.

I have nothing to add to this blog right now mostly because I find myself boring.

So why write about boring things? My day-to-day doesnt change much. My son is still beautiful, still makes me laugh, still stresses me out sometimes, still makes me smile through it all.

Im feeling very disconnected from myself and my DH. It seems that 1000% of my life and focus is on my baby and that is not healthy at all.

Oh and to add to the misery is the continuing job woes. So glad I spent a small mortgage worth of money on my education to get shit-canned before even getting an interview. So glad I hear how smart I am and how good I am at my work but never get hired for something worthwhile. Even better....it stresses out my DH which is in turn put on me again and adds to the pressure. Again. Its not his fault but its not pleasant. This process really adds to...rather rips to shreds, chews up and explosively shits out my self-worth if you know what I mean.

Awesome.

No wait...

This boy is awesome. He gets it from his father.

6 Months!!

Mon bébé précieux,

Today you are 6 months old! To mark this special milestone our day looked like this:

Maman got you dressed in a onesie and diaper for your annual monthly picture with your tall penguin on the chair in your room. Its been so fun to chronicle these monthly pictures and your growth and it is amazing to see the changes.

You practiced sitting, safely tucked between Maman's legs and with many toys to keep your attention and stimulate your imagination.

We took a nap together this afternoon. You rested peacefully on my chest and I immediately recalled the first moment you laid on my chest after your birth. It was as beautiful today as it was then. It makes Maman very emotional thinking about it.

When Papa got home, we had dinner together. You got your very first taste of food today. We tried mashed sweet potato. Not your favorite thing. Then we tried some mashed banana...nope that was a no go as well. You did enjoy your first taste of water but I think that was more because it helped wash down the food. We'll try again tomorrow.

After your bath, Maman put you to bed and reflected on the last month. Not much has changed since month 5 other than you are more sturdy when you sit but sometimes your head still takes you in all sorts of directions. You get very upset when you bonk your head on the floor. You are still only rolling onto your tummy but you did roll back...just twice. You get frustrated very easily when on your belly. You're also pushing your butt into the air so you're practicing some crawling moves. I think it will be awhile yet.

When you are eating, you make sweet little noises and grunts and then come off Maman's breast with great flourish and a big smile. It is hilarious and makes Maman laugh a lot.

We are still waiting to hear some baby giggles and your voice is very soft yet though sometimes you let out a scream that gets our attention! You also have the attention of Figaro the cat and sometimes he'll lay on the carpet close to you and lick your hand or forehead. He gets your attention too, you are curious when he walks by or licks you.

You are teething something fierce but so far nothing has come out. Maman requested that the Tooth Fairy surrender those teeth soon, on the promise that she would get them back in 4-7 years...provided she swap for shiny quarters! :)

Your favorite toys are your rings, your dragonfly, your baseball rattle, and your penguins. You love to be sung to and you love when Maman reads to you as well.

As for your parents, we have hit our stride finally and feel somewhat normal again....a new normal of course. The days aren't as long as they once were for Maman but some days are still very hard. Papa loves coming home to us and has the happiest face for his son. Papa plays the Lion Game with you. Papa pretends he is a lion and crawls around on all four's, growling, pawing and then "attacking" your neck. It makes you smile and distracts you when Maman is trying to get you dressed for bed. We are getting better at this parenting thing though every day is something new.

Maxim, you are our most precious joy, the light of our days, our world. Even when Maman and Papa have bad days, you make us smile. Even on your bad days, you still smile. You have changed our hearts in ways you cant possibly imagine. Maman cant find the words to describe how beautiful you are, how loving you are and how much my heart swells with love for you. All I know is that you have fundamentally changed me as a person for the good, you have changed my heart and you have changed my perspective on life. We cannot wait to see what the next 6 months bring, not hoping things will speed up but savoring every single moment with you.

We love you sweet boy!

Happy Halloween

Maxim and PeeWee

K, the meeting will start...thanks for showing up Monsieur Polar and Bonhomme. Bonhomme, Bonhomme, c'est tout jouer...

Maman!! Was that you or Figaro?!

Maman, I have no words...

Well hello there PeeWee, nice of you to show up.

Alright PeeWee. Do your worst.

Victory is mine!!

My Favorite Things...

His blue eyes....in the morning they are a nice and light, mid-day they have a bit of gray radiating off the pupil like mine and in the evening they are the richest hue of navy.

The small of his back....this is where is he most ticklish...if he's nursing and I graze his back in any way, he immediately arches and wiggles. He is JUST like his dad this way...very sensitive to the touch.

His dimples..I dont know where they came from, neither DH nor I have dimples but they are cute nonetheless and we'll take them.

His chubby cheeks...I kiss them constantly, I cant even help myself. He gets a million kisses a day.

His little biceps...they are just so cute, he's already got some "definition." I imagine him to be a grown man some day with nice arms that will make his partner swoon.

The little wrist cleavage he has between his wrist and hand.

His pot belly....it just barely sits over the edge of his diaper. He's not a fat baby but his little Buddha belly is just so adorable. I love to blow on it to make him smile and laugh.

His legs...he has the classic baby leg rolls. I smile with pride knowing that I did that...I helped him grow and get bigger outside of my body with my milk. His legs were so skinny, I just never imagined them with little rolls.

His feet...he likes it when I blow on the bottom of his feet and pretend to chew on his toes. He has big feet, he will be tall like his Papa.

His smile. It melts my heart, makes me laugh and makes me sigh happy little sighs when I see it. Especially first thing in the morning, it makes getting out of bed easier. I also check for teeth 10 times a day, he must get so sick of me sticking my finger in his mouth, haha!

Mid - night nursing sessions. He just recently started going back to these around 4:00am, part of a sleep regression thing. He just wants a little snack, comfort, or something...but it brings me peace in the middle of the night, when it is the darkest and quietest. I wrap us up in a blanket so I dont get cold and recline the chair a bit. The other night, I fell asleep in the chair in his room. I woke up and thought only 15 minutes had passed....it was 2 hours later, almost dawn and Maxim was still latched on, sleeping but suckling away.

Bath time. Maxim LOVES bath time and it is the most fun we have all day. He is totally getting into the toys, bubbles and splashing.

Nap time. Its good for him because he gets rest and its good for me because I get a break. I'm able to take care of myself during this time and its pretty frustrating for me if I dont get a little bit of a break. Thankfully, the nap issues are getting much better which makes for a happier, not overtired baby and a happier, less stressed mom and dad.

Night time massage. Sometimes he doesnt always love it but I love it because it allows me to help him relax in a different way and the nights he is really receptive to it, he just totally soaks it in.

His voice. He has the sweetest little voice, he likes to talk and jabber all day. He's squealing and grunting and doing everything he can to learn how to talk. Its so cool, I cannot wait until he says Maman and Papa for the first time.

Reading and music time. I love playing the piano for him and singing to him. His current favorites are Head Shoulders Knees and Toes and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. We also play a ton of regular radio music for him, just like in utero. Still responds to DMB and Our Lady Peace....he's also a fan of "Boom Boom Pow" as we discovered this week and Lady Gaga.

When DH comes home...baby boy lights up and loves his Papa. I just love watching DH with him.

Just before he closes his eyes at bedtime. He likes to hold my hand and look up at me as he is falling asleep. Its my favorite part of the day...a time for me to reflect on the good and the bad. How he grew and changed and learned and how I grew, changed and learned too.

Beautiful Boy

Go Habs Go!! Down with the Leafs!!

Bubble Baby

I'm kind of a big deal, Maman!

Winking at Grandma

Love your smile baby!

What big eyes you have!

Our nightly chat before bedtime

5 Months

Maxim is 5 months old today!! It really does go so fast, its hard to believe he was born 5 months ago.

This month Maxim is extremely fascinated with his feet. I think he's kinda blown away that if he drops his other toys and cant get them, at least his feet are always attached and at the ready, haha! This foot fetish of his makes diaper changes more interesting and he tries so hard to get both hands and feet in his mouth at the same time.

He's found his sweet little voice this month as well. We often have little "chats" throughout the day, especially just before he goes down for bed. We cuddle on the couch and he whispers little baby words to me before he finally closes his eyes. I like to think he is thanking me for a nice day of play and fun, taking good care of him and telling me he loves me so much. Sweetest part of my day, other than waking up to baby smiles :)

He is not very good at playing independently yet and he is ok with the jumper and exersaucer for very short periods of time. He would rather I play with him. He does love the over head toys though and sitting in his Bumbo chair. He still just rolls back to tummy but not the other direction so he gets a bit frustrated after being on his belly. He does a bit of tripod sitting but still needs support. He also loves his bath and the toys and bubbles are super fun for him.

We have a nightly routine of dinner, a stroller walk with Papa, bath, nurse and bed time. He is going to bed between 8 and 8:30 which is a huge difference than a few months ago. His naps are slowly getting better but there are still days when he struggles and then is crabby. If we are out later, he adjusts so well so we dont feel too confined to get him to his bed times.

He is a happy little boy and is looking more like me than DH. He is so sweet and we are so so in love with him. We love every day when he learns something new or does something cute. He is such a blessing :)