Trip Pictures

How to Leave Your Baby For 9 Days...

A check-list:

Baby should be at least over 6 months old.

Have a really good reason for the vacation. A destination wedding for close friends (who happen to be executors on our will) is an excellent reason for getting away. Having 29 other people there to celebrate as well makes it a trip not to be missed.

Pump and save every possible ounce of your milk for the months leading up the time away, thus limiting your time away from your baby during this time. Become a mommy martyr for selfish reasons, it pays off in a few months. For 9 days, one needs at least 250 ounces.

Have a reliable, responsible, loving family member to be on board for caring for your baby and supportive of your trip. A grandparent is the absolute best option. Anybody else will leave you racked with serious anxiety.

Allow grandparents to spoil your baby at will and without limits for the entire week. Baby deserves it and grandma and grandpa will love you forever.

Pay in advance for trip. This makes it very difficult to back out of said trip. Further, buy cancellation insurance just in case.

Leave strict, specific down to the anal detail about feeding baby. Its ok if its a page long. Answer any questions about baby's routine too.

Pack the baby's favorite toys and lovies to take along to Grandma's house. Leave a piece of your clothing behind for the baby to cuddle if necessary.

Hug and kiss baby as much as possible. Shed a few tears and then leave quickly. Once in the car, you will feel much better. You will miss your baby more than you thought possible (but not in a rush to end the vacation and get home) but you will be thrilled beyond reason to be home again too.

Dont call home. Its much too expensive and will just create anxiety. Check Facebook for pictures that grandma will surely post of your happy smiling baby. Know that if anything *really serious* happens, grandma will call you.

Bring breast pump and parts, including spare batteries and a nursing cover. Be prepared to pump every 3-4 hours while away. Yes it is a pain, however, if you are dedicated to breast feeding, it is absolutely necessary.

Be prepared to pump anywhere and everywhere including in the car, in the airport lounge, in the plane, in your room away from the fun, on the beach and at a major internationally known water park. Employ DH to assist in supporting your efforts, including booby checks to be sure you arent flashing anybody.

Be prepared to dump your liquid gold down the drain. If you are liberal with the alcohol (very liberal some days which is not hard to do at an all inclusive resort), then this isnt that hard to do because it's not something you would not feed anyway. If not liberal with the alcohol and can safely store it properly, then bring it back on the plane if you are willing to deal with that hassle.

Ignore any nay sayers that make comments that you imply your baby will suffer endless psychological wounding that will require him to be in therapy for his adult life if you leave him with his grandparents. Ignore the people that try to place guilt upon you for leaving your child. Your child will survive, in fact, thrive without you. Ignore the people that silently think you're a horrible parent by throwing you looks of judgment. They really arent any better or worse than you.

Enjoy every single moment with DH. It is priceless to be able to travel in a quiet car and not lug around baby gear. It is amazing to be able to sleep in a few hours without disruption and have loud wild....errr...laughs *wink.* It is awesome to tell dirty jokes, swear, drink without inhibition and eat meals (hot meals at that) in peace.

Be sure that the week is filled with tons of memories of relaxation, fun and debauchery. Be sure to spend the week reconnecting with your DH with romance and private moments.

Have zero guilt. Parents and marriage should still come first and foremost and this time away is great for the marriage. Children are amazing and resilient and you will be a better partner and parent when you return.

Hug and kiss baby as much as humanly possible upon return. Promptly put baby to breast and smile with contentment of being back where you both belong. Lugging baby gear, early mornings and eating meals in chaos will feel good because you'll be home to your most beautiful baby. Baby smiles abound.

Spend a whole day cuddling and spoiling baby upon return. Roll back into your family routine with ease but with new memories of a great trip. Baby will have a slight grandma hangover. That too will pass when he realizes maman cuddles and kisses are still the best.

8 Months!

Maxim is 8 months now and he's changed quite a bit in the last month.

He cut his first two teeth on December 19th. He has his front two bottom chompers. I miss his gummy grin already :(

We traveled to the States again for Christmas. He did much better in the car this time and it was a very good trip. He got spoiled big time, lots of toys for Christmas including a metal Radio Flyer red wagon from my parents. He also got tons of love, cuddles and kisses from Grandma and Grandpa.

He is sitting very well and very seldom falls unless he flops himself over on purpose. He is totally loving this new position and he plays very well now. He loves books and story time.

He is suddenly very interested in our cat Figaro. Fig is very patient and good with him. Fig often sits next to him on the floor and Maxim will reach over to pet and stroke him. I always take the opportunity to show him how to get the kitty nicely. So far so good.

We tried some fruit again this week and he seems to like pears. He has lost the tongue thrust thing completely now and he knows how to swallow good. Its going much better. He'll get more practice with the in-laws this week.

He is having his first time away from Maman and Papa this week. DH and I are traveling to the Bahamas for a friend's wedding and we'll be gone 8 days. We havent been away from him longer than 12 hours since he was born so it will be interesting. I think it will be good for him as he will be with the in-laws and in good hands. It will be good for DH and I as well.

Still not mobile and he's pretty content sitting on his butt. He is Mr Grab Hands and is after everything he can reach. Its really fun to watch him explore the world.

We also went swimming for the first time yesterday. He did NOT enjoy the big pool or the shallow pool. He was better in the splash pad but not by much. It was just too cold for him. However, he LOVED the therapy pool which is a big warm hot tub pool and he was totally relaxed and checking things out when we sat in there. The class was ok, most of the activities they have you do with the babes arent good for little ones but better for toddlers. Lots of bouncing and slight head dipping. We are going to go at least twice a week, maybe participate in the organized class or just hang out in the pool on our own. Water safety and swimming is super important and a life long skill set.

Life will surely get more interesting as we enter the next few months. We love him more and more everyday and his smiles warm our hearts.

7 Months!

Maxim is 7 months old today! A few highlights:

He is not a fan of solids. We've put them on hold until he shows more interest and try maybe once or twice a week. So far he firmly clamps his mouth shut and turns his head. However yesterday, he was batting at DH's banana so DH gave him a small piece. He didnt spit it out. Progress!! 7 months breast feeding milestone, so so proud of both of us!

He is sitting independently with pillows around him. He can sit for a very long time before he'll tip over usually tipping because he is trying to reach for an object. Another month and he wont need the pillows anymore. He loves sitting, its like a whole new world has opened up for him. He can play pretty well now this way. Watching him play is so exciting. I just watch and observe instead of playing with him sometimes and you can see the gears grinding in his head about his toys, the way he manipulates them, moves them, and of course, puts everything in his mouth.

As for crawling or rolling....nope. He's perfectly content just hanging out. He moves a TON in his crib at night though so I know something is working in his brain about these milestones but during his awake time, he doesnt do much by way of practicing.

Speaking of sleep, he's started with weird sleep patterns too. He gets up more often now, some nights just the normal once at 5am to eat, and other nights its 3-4 times, every 2 hours. He isnt hungry, just weird night waking and not able to get himself settled. Part separation anxiety, part developmental brain activity. I have gone back to taking at least one nap a day while he is napping, usually the morning nap.

He absolutely HATES it when I leave the room. He screams and cries if I walk away for a few seconds and he cant see me. This is highly annoying to me as I feel I cant even pee or get a bowl of cereal without him freaking out. Separation anxiety setting in, however, not making strange with people. And its not consistent either...he was perfectly happy with all my co-workers on Thursday at the Christmas potluck and I wasnt around for at least an hour. He is so so social, he loves people.

He's started to pull my hair, pat and touch my face and if Figaro gets too close, pull on his hair or tail. I think he just likes the new textures and he loves to explore my face. Its so cute. I am already teaching him not to pull my hair or hit my glasses off my face.

Maxim loves playing peek-a-boo with his Aden and Anais blankets. Those blankets are his favorite, good thing Santa is bringing some Issies for him. He squeals and moves so much when we play this game.

He is growing and changing so much. DH raves about him all the time, it is so moving to listen to him talk about his son. He gets so emotional and open about him, never before has he been this way and I love it. They are quite the pair and one of their favorite things to do together is watch Montreal Canadiens hockey.

I really cant believe we're on the downward slope towards turning 1!! It has gone so fast. Everybody I cherish the cuddles and kisses, knowing that he wont be able to snuggle in my arms for much longer. I say it all the time but he really is wonderful in so many ways and I'm so lucky to be his Maman.

12 Months of Blogging

I thought this was fun!! 12 months of blogging :)

January 2010 - Happy New Year! A very happy new year in 2010 to all!

February 2010 - 24 Weeks! Holy cow, 6 months already! Time has flown by, it really has!

March 2010 - 30 Weeks!! Only 10 weeks to go! Can we say, holy shit, where does the time go?

April 2010 - No posts for April!

May 2010 - 37 Weeks! Its been awhile but I've been super busy too! 37 Weeks today = a full term baby! Woot!

June 2010 - On the Night You Were Born... I found this beautiful book, "On the Night You Were Born" before Maxim was born and I fell in love with the opening words. ~~On the night you were born, the moon smiled with such wonder that the stars peeked in to see you and the night wind whispered, "Life will never be the same."~~

July 2010 - Long Distance Grandparents. This is going to be a really hard post to write but I have to get it out.

August 2010 - World Breast Feeding Week. August 1-7 is World Breastfeeding Week.

September 2010 - More Pics From Our Trip. Eventually I'll get a written update in here..Maxim has been a nap time monster for the last 2 weeks so needless to say we aren't getting much done around here during the day or at night.

October 2010 - Best Day... Today is our 3rd anniversary :)

November 2010 - 6 Months!! Mon bébé précieux, Today you are 6 months old!

December 2010 - The Good Baby. Is he a good baby?"

The Good Baby

"Is he a good baby?"

Ummm...

What is said out loud...

Yes?!

What is running through my head...

I suppose....am I supposed to be honest here or...no wait, I must say yes, lest I be judged for being a shitty mother who hates her kid.

This question bugs me almost as much as the nursing/sleeping/pablum questions. How does a parent even answer this question other than "OF COURSE!!!! He's a GREAT baby ALL the time....dont you see the rainbows, unicorns and fluffy puppies shooting out his ass?!?! Dont you see the choir of angels singing boisterously behind me as I describe my perfect baby??" Haha!

What bugs me even more is that babies and kids are measured "good" by stupid things that are completely developmentally normal. Babies can only communicate by crying, non-verbal body language, or random cooing...they dont have words or language to articulate their needs and desires. So when a baby cries they are attempting to communicate their needs and desires.

Crying gets on my damn nerves. Especially when I've done everything I can possibly think of to soothe him and it doesnt work. I think any parent if they were honest would say that unending crying drives them nuts after awhile. Sometimes, I have to consciously remind myself that he is communicating, not getting on my nerves purposely.

My baby is a good baby because he is a good person. Not because he is a perfect angel 24 hours a day, never cries, sleeps on "schedule," "eats good" and all the other things that are supposed to be "good" about a kid. He's a normal human...he has good days and bad days. He has his preferences and mannerisms just like anybody else.

I wish we wouldn't measure good and bad this way. I read a blog post recently and be damned if I can remember what the blog was called but it talked about this very thing that made so much sense, it reminded me and my DH not to judge him as good or bad but normal.

So I hate it when people ask if he's a good baby...because they are expecting the answer yes and dont really give a shit about all the daily hassles and troubles that come with raising a normal baby. If I respond with anything other than yes, then I'm complaining, condescended to or dismissed. I'll gladly take a question about nursing anytime over the good baby question.

It seems that mothers can never be honest about raising their kids because there is all sorts of judgment and less than helpful comments that come with it. I think this is detrimental because new mothers don't get the right information about what it can be really like to raise a child. Its also detrimental to the mother that doesn't have an outlet. We seek support for "safe" topics with other people, we don't seek an ear to listen to our difficulties or the emotional toll that this can bring.

Most days are a joy, most moments are unforgettable, my heart bursts with happiness. Other days are so damn hard, so damn exhausting, so damn hair-graying, I briefly consider drinking and recreational pot use.

And I am so damn lucky. So so lucky and so so blessed.

Even though he's been driving me right up the nut house since Monday, he is a fabulous little human being and you're damn right...he is "good."

Funky. Funkeriffic. Funkified.

In a word. In a funk.

The last few weeks have been hard.

I dont really know why.

I have nothing to add to this blog right now mostly because I find myself boring.

So why write about boring things? My day-to-day doesnt change much. My son is still beautiful, still makes me laugh, still stresses me out sometimes, still makes me smile through it all.

Im feeling very disconnected from myself and my DH. It seems that 1000% of my life and focus is on my baby and that is not healthy at all.

Oh and to add to the misery is the continuing job woes. So glad I spent a small mortgage worth of money on my education to get shit-canned before even getting an interview. So glad I hear how smart I am and how good I am at my work but never get hired for something worthwhile. Even better....it stresses out my DH which is in turn put on me again and adds to the pressure. Again. Its not his fault but its not pleasant. This process really adds to...rather rips to shreds, chews up and explosively shits out my self-worth if you know what I mean.

Awesome.

No wait...

This boy is awesome. He gets it from his father.