How to Leave Your Baby For 9 Days...

A check-list:

Baby should be at least over 6 months old.

Have a really good reason for the vacation. A destination wedding for close friends (who happen to be executors on our will) is an excellent reason for getting away. Having 29 other people there to celebrate as well makes it a trip not to be missed.

Pump and save every possible ounce of your milk for the months leading up the time away, thus limiting your time away from your baby during this time. Become a mommy martyr for selfish reasons, it pays off in a few months. For 9 days, one needs at least 250 ounces.

Have a reliable, responsible, loving family member to be on board for caring for your baby and supportive of your trip. A grandparent is the absolute best option. Anybody else will leave you racked with serious anxiety.

Allow grandparents to spoil your baby at will and without limits for the entire week. Baby deserves it and grandma and grandpa will love you forever.

Pay in advance for trip. This makes it very difficult to back out of said trip. Further, buy cancellation insurance just in case.

Leave strict, specific down to the anal detail about feeding baby. Its ok if its a page long. Answer any questions about baby's routine too.

Pack the baby's favorite toys and lovies to take along to Grandma's house. Leave a piece of your clothing behind for the baby to cuddle if necessary.

Hug and kiss baby as much as possible. Shed a few tears and then leave quickly. Once in the car, you will feel much better. You will miss your baby more than you thought possible (but not in a rush to end the vacation and get home) but you will be thrilled beyond reason to be home again too.

Dont call home. Its much too expensive and will just create anxiety. Check Facebook for pictures that grandma will surely post of your happy smiling baby. Know that if anything *really serious* happens, grandma will call you.

Bring breast pump and parts, including spare batteries and a nursing cover. Be prepared to pump every 3-4 hours while away. Yes it is a pain, however, if you are dedicated to breast feeding, it is absolutely necessary.

Be prepared to pump anywhere and everywhere including in the car, in the airport lounge, in the plane, in your room away from the fun, on the beach and at a major internationally known water park. Employ DH to assist in supporting your efforts, including booby checks to be sure you arent flashing anybody.

Be prepared to dump your liquid gold down the drain. If you are liberal with the alcohol (very liberal some days which is not hard to do at an all inclusive resort), then this isnt that hard to do because it's not something you would not feed anyway. If not liberal with the alcohol and can safely store it properly, then bring it back on the plane if you are willing to deal with that hassle.

Ignore any nay sayers that make comments that you imply your baby will suffer endless psychological wounding that will require him to be in therapy for his adult life if you leave him with his grandparents. Ignore the people that try to place guilt upon you for leaving your child. Your child will survive, in fact, thrive without you. Ignore the people that silently think you're a horrible parent by throwing you looks of judgment. They really arent any better or worse than you.

Enjoy every single moment with DH. It is priceless to be able to travel in a quiet car and not lug around baby gear. It is amazing to be able to sleep in a few hours without disruption and have loud wild....errr...laughs *wink.* It is awesome to tell dirty jokes, swear, drink without inhibition and eat meals (hot meals at that) in peace.

Be sure that the week is filled with tons of memories of relaxation, fun and debauchery. Be sure to spend the week reconnecting with your DH with romance and private moments.

Have zero guilt. Parents and marriage should still come first and foremost and this time away is great for the marriage. Children are amazing and resilient and you will be a better partner and parent when you return.

Hug and kiss baby as much as humanly possible upon return. Promptly put baby to breast and smile with contentment of being back where you both belong. Lugging baby gear, early mornings and eating meals in chaos will feel good because you'll be home to your most beautiful baby. Baby smiles abound.

Spend a whole day cuddling and spoiling baby upon return. Roll back into your family routine with ease but with new memories of a great trip. Baby will have a slight grandma hangover. That too will pass when he realizes maman cuddles and kisses are still the best.