Thursday, July 28, 2011

A Brief Update

My computer went to hell on me...well its been on its way and traveling through the circles of hell for awhile now. It reached the 9th this week and I put my foot down. So yay for a new laptop!

We really dont torture our poor baby by forcing him into the lake as may be evidenced by the previous Wordless Wednesday. The last two weekends have been super hot and the lake now feels like a pool so he is loving it. He still prefers his baby pool but thats because the small waves sort of make him uncertain. He LOVES floating in his blow up elephant though, laughs galore. And he gets such a kick out of DH diving under water and coming up on the other side, splashing and such.

3 weeks back to work now and its still meh. I just go. Its a very impersonal sort of existence. I mostly hang in my office and only talk to people (except my friends) if necessary and usually by email.

My fat cat will not leave me alone tonight. Ugh he is so needy!!

My pants dont fit and this is a problem. I have been limiting my food intake and making healthy choices for the last 3 weeks and havent budged. This is highly makes me want to just eat cookies to justify my lack of success.

Im so sick of the political bullshit coming from the US. My god, my country sucks lately. Seriously folks, get your shit together, its embarrassing. Repub, Dem, Green, Purple, Black, White...whatever you want to call yourself its still your fault...its all of your fault.

Speaking of the US, I'm awaiting my US

Our house is an epic filthy disaster...I cant wait for summer to be over so we can be here for more than 5 days at a time and I can get shit done. I can keep it picked up but to actually deep clean it...not happening. For the record, it wasnt happening before I went to work either.

Its hot...damn hot. Im over this little heat wave. In a house with no A/C, we are not sleeping well at all. Bring on the fall.

Im working on finishing up two online courses. Glad it will be over, but glad I did them. It was nice to do it in the online format. Hopefully it will help me later in life. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

Snakeskin shoes are fabulous. They get lots of attention.

My baby is a vacation this week with his grandparents. We are starting to miss him but we get to see him tomorrow and take him home with us on Sunday!

He's thisclose to walking...he took 3 little steps last week. Come on big boy, you can do it!

I have 5 books on the horn...I love camp in the summer, and reading for hours on end while the baby naps or plays with his dad in the lake.

Time for bed...once this summer business slows down, I hope to update more regularly. Still have to write about daycare and such and other things that have come to mind.

I still lurk and read your blogs even though I havent updated mine! Keep posting!!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

First time in the lake

Not sure about this, Papa

And done!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Working Maman

I have a new role yet again....that of the working maman.

Its not ideal but it is a paycheck for now, and godwilling, something else will come up very very soon.

When I got offered my current contract, my DH called our first choice for daycare and they had a spot for us. So off the wait list we went into active status. We had 2 quick 30 minute visits for Sweet Boy to meet the staff and for us to complete the paper work. He started last Wednesday.

This boy loves people. Loves them. He has zero separation anxiety and stranger anxiety. He was immediately comfortable with the workers.

His first day was last Wednesday and DH took him in (the other bonus...the daycare is literally a 2 minute walk from DH's work...he can see it from his window). I got out of bed to help get him dressed and fed. Off they went at quarter to 8 and there were no tears or drama from any of us. I went back to bed and went about my day. I called at noon to check in and he was doing great! Apparently for the first 3 days last week, he had some wonky naps and didnt each much but was in good spirits and played nicely and all that jazz. I had 3 days to sort of prep for work...go shopping for work clothes which I had not done since before getting pregnant and get some things organized here at home.

I started work on yesterday and so far so good. I'm loving being back at work with adults and having that interaction and challenge. Its not hard for me to go to work or take him to daycare. I had a few people offer their condolences to me about daycare and I really just didnt get it at all. I can understand if he was a really young baby or if I was really dreading going back to work but I was happy for this new change. I was blessed to have more than a year with him at home but being at home isnt for me for the long term. I know a lot of moms love staying at home and may not understand my feelings but I think there are many other moms who perhaps DO feel the way I do about staying at home and dont say it because they dont want to be viewed as a bad parent. I know I only tell a few trusted people that I much prefer to be working. I also know and have known for years that with the lifestyle and our personal finance situation that even if I wanted to stay at home, it just isnt what suits our family which makes this a very peaceful decision.

I also feel very confident in the facility and the workers. It is a beautiful set-up and very well organized and will easily transition him through into the school years as well. Plus its French so he will be getting his French language skills every day in addition to the words and phrases DH and his family teach him. Its already so crazy how much French he understands. Plus he is getting back on track with his appetite and nap patterns and today the worker commented that he doesnt seem to miss us or wonder where we are. He just seems to know that we'll be coming back for him and he lights up like crazy when he does see us.

I also feel like I'm way more motivated and organized to keep my house in order and maximize the time we have as a family. That feels good for me because we living in less chaos right now than before. Its quite nice.

Overall, this has been a very necessary and very good move for me and our family. So far no ill side effects other than our cat is more needy again because he's alone during the day, haha!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Wordless Wednesday-Weaned

Last nursing session, 13 months 9 days

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Off the Planet...

I took a self-imposed hiatus after I did not get the latest job that SHOULD be mine...its a long story but its a mess for sure and I've been majorly fucked over. I'm bitter, angry and resigned. Oh the ranting, raving and colorful language you would have heard if you had been a bug on my wall in the last 3 weeks.

So I tried to get off the planet last week...

That sounds really grim but in fact it was not at all what that may imply.

Basically I came home two weeks ago from the cottage, after hearing about the job results, and hating my house, the environment, the hopelessness. It was literally making me sick to my stomach where I would spend every morning on the toilet (sorry for the TMI). Not a good way to try to keep my happy child happy. If not for my motherly duties, I doubt I would have gotten out of bed. As it was, I barely got dressed and showered. Good thing babies dont care if you dont wear clothes for a few days.

Oh and DH was ignoring me and the baby too. That felt great. Not only did I feel very alone within my own depressed mind, but I didnt even have him here mentally. We werent even mad at each other. So he was here but really wasnt.

So it was a real party around here.

About checking off the planet...basically I decided I would take the baby and go to the cottage for a week. So by checking out, I had no internet or network (no smart phone for me) so no way to stay in contact with anybody except my DH. I ignored all other texts and phone calls. So we texted back and forth every night trying to work out our shit and he would only send me important messages from my emails (job interview related stuff). To say it was nice would be an was heaven.

We are far too overly connected or plugged in. One of the reasons I dont have a smart phone is because I dont want to be that plugged in. When you unplug from the world, you realize how hooked in you are and how much you really dont need it. It was a very nice break to just be. I got loads of sun, slept in every day (yay for my MIL taking care of the baby), read 4 books, drank with my BIL's and in general forgot about all my cares or worries.

Now that I'm back, things are somewhat improved. I'm going to work on Monday but its only a contract. Its a paycheck and thats it. I hate them with every inch of myself but I refuse to let utter incompetence break my spirit. Besides, it will make them sweat to see me every day which will be rather enjoyable in a sadistic sort of way. Oh and I have another interview next week too for a place I have been dying to get into for a few years now. DH and I are in good spirits again and my bowels are back to normal...go colon go! Im kinda hoping that whole you dont get handed more than you can handle shit comes true soon because I'm at my limit listening universe?! I'm over it.

So thats that. Will post pics for Wordless Wednesday, Sweet Boy's transition to daycare (he starts tomorrow) and other such things.

Here's a few pics anyway...he makes me smile everyday!

Everybody loves the drummer

First time in the lake...not a fan this year

Kicked back in the pool..this is much more my style

"Get off my lawn!!"