Monday, September 28, 2009

6 Weeks

6 weeks and the word of the day is exhaustion.

I'm so tired.

Knock down. Dead out. Tired.

I took a belly pic today but I'm overweight and already have a belly so it doesn't look like much. Probably wont see significant change until later in the 2T. Will still take them I guess.

Also getting more frequent nausea but nothing completely intolerable. I've been taking extra B6 since I got my BFP which seems to be helping. Little Bugger doesn't seem to be too hard on me yet!

DH is more and more excited about the baby too. Almost everybody knows now except work. Its getting harder and harder to hide it at work because I just want to sleep in my office.

The exhaustion is made worse at work by the fact that none of my clients are showing up lately! So I'm sitting around with my thumb up my arse. And all my assessments and paperwork is caught up so I really don't have anything to do when they don't show up!! Grrr!! Makes the urge to sleep even stronger in the afternoon.

Anyway, I'm going to bed early tonight. Its cold and rainy which makes for no sun which makes it even more appealing to just stay in bed all day.

Currently reading: The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett. I read it two years ago and it was awesome. I just bought the sequel, World Without End which I'm excited to get to but need to re-read the first book. I highly recommend Pillars...it is a wonderful story set in the Middle Ages and the main "character" is a cathedral. Yep a cathedral. I'm not much into historical fiction or stories set in that era of time, but this is probably in my top 5 favorite books of all time. Go get it!

Monday, September 21, 2009

5 Weeks

I'm at 5 weeks today.

I feel really good during the day, just super tired. It's starting to show as people at work are asking about me. I'm normally high energy, talkative and animated at work and I'm just a slug right now. I hope I don't have to hide it much longer. So far only two people know and they're keeping it quiet.

I'm starting to get night nausea as well where I feel like absolute crap after dinner or late afternoon. I bought some healthy snacks tonight that I'm taking to work, hoping that will help the afternoon stuff. I'm also taking B6 in the mornings and so far I haven't had issues during the morning or day. No throwing up though which is a huge bonus.

I had my first emotional meltdown last night. It was so bizarre. I was pissed off and when I'm pissed, at times I cry....but I was really mad but it felt like SAD crying...oh for weird.

I made an appointment with a midwife today. My appointment isnt until October 14 though which seems late to me, but its really not that far away. I was relieved when they said they would take me. There are only three midwives in our area and its hard to get in...you basically call as soon as you get a positive pregnancy test. I have to drive 30 minutes to see her which isn't a big deal and she came highly recommended by a friend who gave birth in May. The other bonus is that she will come to your home for 6 weeks post-partum to check up on you, baby, and help with any issues like breastfeeding. BTDT's, did you DH's come to your first appointment??

I gave DH some books tonight. One was The Expectant Father and the other is a hardbook called Hockey Numbers. LOL! Its a childrens counting book that's all about my DH's favorite sport, hockey. I told him he could read to my belly and the baby when he/she gets here. He was pretty touched by it I think. I'm going to buy him Z is for Zamboni when I can find it. We also looked through my A Child is Born book at the pics of a 5 week old embryo. Its pretty cool to think little bugger will have a heartbeat this week! Hope its nice and strong and keeps flickering away. Its fun talking to DH about the baby's growth, he has loads of questions.

Keep growing little bébé, Mommy and Daddy love you so much already and we can't wait to see you in a few weeks!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Listening vs. Hearing

I listen a lot.

Everyday in fact.

My job is centered around listening. Listening to the client, their problems, their triumphs, their challenges.

Admittedly, I do a lot of hearing as well.

It is a very fine line of distinction between listening and hearing.

Hearing only requires the use of ears.

Listening requires not only the ears but also the brain.

Thinking.

Processing.

Understanding.

Empathizing.

We hear lots of sounds and most of it is noise. Again, the distinction between noise and sounds is also very fine.

Hearing can be a protective mechanism. Usually for our egos, but also for our patience or our humility. Sometimes it can be detrimental to only practice hearing especially in relationships and friendships.

Listening can be so very difficult, especially when its something we don't want to think of, process or understand. Listening is an acquired skill that requires practicing and fine-tuning.

Before I was pregnant, I only really heard my body. I often loathed what it was telling me too. Now I feel like I'm listening to it and I'm slowly starting to marvel at what it is telling me.

So listening vs. hearing. I think I'll practice more listening especially with my relationships.

I find that I need to do less hearing, more listening. More thinking, processing, understanding, empathizing.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

4 Weeks

I'm not entirely sure if this is really happening to me.

To us.

Are we really having a baby??

Its crazy because I feel so normal...aside from a few symptoms, but if I hadn't seen those lines I wouldn't think I was pregnant.

Anyway, we're over the moon but still processing it. Honestly when you decide to try and then you go for it, you hope it happens right away but its still shocking when it does...which sounds so backwards. I've read too many people's heartbreaking stories of fertility problems (including a close friend) and I know we are so very blessed.

Forgive me though....I'm still in shock!!

As for symptoms, I have sore nips, lots of CM, extremely heightened sense of smell, lots of burping and gas, and I'm exhausted. No cramping or spotting which is a relief...knock wood. Of course I expect a bit of twinging here and there as my uterus starts to grow.

As for the news telling, I brought out the four positive pee sticks to show DH on top of a book on fatherhood I bought for him. Of course, he is extremely logical and detail oriented and wants to know the minutiae of everything...so he's like "what does this mean?" Haha...and so I had to explain the pee tests and I think overall he was just in shock. Of course his next comment was "that was easy," followed by "I told you I was good." Aaah men, I tell ya!!

Anyway, the male admin assistant at my job found out next after making some cracks about drinking lots of booze. I couldn't hold my poker face. I swore him to secrecy and made him swear not to tell anybody at work and I told him I would know its him because he's the only one there that knows. He's doing well so far, surprisingly. He's one of those guys that is probably dying to tell everybody. Anyway he's a good friend; I wasn't expecting for him to be the first but I guess. We also told DH's best friend and I called my best friend yesterday who squealed on the phone for at least 15 minutes! We plan to tell our parents this weekend.

Anyway, we're so happy and so blessed. Its crazy to think how much our life will change in 9 months. I'm hoping and praying this little bébé sticks good and grows into a very healthy wee one.

Monday, September 14, 2009

House Update and Pictures

Bathroom After


Up close of stripes..dark plum and silver gray
Before Bedroom

After Bedroom

After Bedroom


More pics to follow next week sometime...kitchen and living room!!!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Seeing Lines and Plus Signs....

I've been seeing lines and plus signs for two days now...

I'm pregnant.

Thrilled beyond belief.

And in utter shock as well.

More later...

Friday, September 4, 2009

Busy Busy...

I've been crazy busy for the last two weeks. We are in our house now and its been a reno mess ever since.

So far we've painted three rooms, replaced carpet in the bedroom and replaced the laminate in the main living area.

Hopefully it'll be "normal" soon...as in my kitchen won't look like a construction zone soon.

In other news, DH and I have somehow managed to GOFO in our attempts to conceive a last minute May baby. I'm in the two week wait now so we'll see what happens. I don't plan to test unless I'm late...I'm not a POAS addict (unless I don't know what the hell is going on, like last cycle) and would rather see AF than a BFN.

Work is work...my morphine addict got to treatment...in the nick of time I think...my class is over today too which will be a relief. Just too busy.

I'm so happy its fall now...its my favorite season! I love the cooler weather, the leaves changing, the smells of home-cooked food.

Hopefully I'll be more active on here soon...its been crazy! Hopefully I'll be able to post pictures of our work too!