Tuesday, July 20, 2010
So far its been mostly about work, pregnancy and babies.
Because I dont know when I'll return to work but definitely have to return by next May, work wont be much of a topic this year. So instead this year I resolve to work through a book I bought last year called Life Lessons for Women which is part of the Chicken Soup series. So in part, I'll be putting my thoughts about each of these life lessons once every two weeks on this blog.
And of course, updating on my sweet boy and my life as a mother. Other musings about other topics that come up will surely be put here as well.
Here we go...year two!
Monday, July 19, 2010
On Saturday, we had my friend's Dirty 30 birthday party at another friend's cottage. Pig roast, potluck, lots of booze, sunshine, good friends and laughs. Maxim was with us all day and did so well...he napped most of the day in his stroller. We arranged for my in-laws to pick up Maxim at 7pm after his feed at that time. They arrived at 7pm just in time and Maxim was crying! I felt so badly for him, even though he was just fussy not really mad at anything. Anyway, I put him in the car seat, kissed him goodbye and away he went with his grandparents. It was a little emotional since he was crying in his car seat (but I didnt cry!!) but apparently as soon as they started backing out, he fell asleep. They were at their cottage which is only 15 minutes down the road so it was nice to know he was close but in very capable hands.
DH and I partied all night. The pig was just getting done when Maxim left so we had a nice dinner. I got into the wine and after 2 full beer cups of red wine, I was quite happy. Played some beer pong and sat around the fire until 2am. My mind only went to Maxim when I knew his fussy hour was starting and his bedtime, hoping he would do ok and not be too hard on them. I had to pump twice to relieve my aching bo.obs (at 12am and then again at 8am), got up at 10am and got back to my in-laws cottage by `1:00am just in time to nurse Maxim.
He did so well. His routine hadnt changed at all, he went to bed at 11:00 like normal, and woke up at 5:30 for them. He was good all morning, playing with his uncles. We got there at 11:00am and he started to fuss so I changed him and he nursed. My in-laws really enjoyed their night with him too.
It was so nice to have a baby free night and I'm grateful for my in-laws in taking him and I was so happy to have my baby back on Sunday too. I appreciate him so much more when I get a break. We had a really fun weekend!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
So enchanted with you were the wind and the rain
that they whispered the sound of your wonderful name."
~On The Night You Were Born~
Maxim rolled over last week and he has started charming us with his beautiful smiles too. He can finally wear normal clothes instead of onesies and pyjamas all the time. He can also bear weight on his little legs and he follows us with his head and eyes when we move about the room. He gets really excited when DH comes home from work.
He sleeps anywhere from 5-6 hours at night after going to bed at around 10:30pm. He wakes up to eat and then will sleep another 4-5 hours. He also has a regular nap time in the afternoon between 12:30 and 2pm. Predictable sleep is awesome!
He nurses 6-8 times a day. Maxim eats like a champ and he makes me laugh. When he is hungry and sees the bo.ob, he starts flailing his arms like gym class arm circles, makes a high-pitched noise like "oooo, oooo, oooo" and opens his mouth really wide. He also smiles a lot while nursing which melts my heart. He gets rather impatient during his middle of the night feed because I change his diaper before feeding him. After I latch him on, I always say "See, its quick service around here, you got nothing to complain about!" Maxim takes the bottle really well too which is nice for DH to get a chance to feed him too.
He still has a regular fussy hour in the evening around 8:30 which can be taxing on DH. DH is the super soother and works wonders to calm him down. We're hoping that will improve with time.
Maxim loves walks in the stroller. He also likes the sling which is super helpful for shopping.
Maxim is a very good, happy baby. We are so blessed!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
My in-laws live 90 minutes from us. We spend over half of our weekends a year with them, a majority in the summer because their cottage is only 45 minutes away. We rarely miss a family event. I do get along with my in-laws for the most part and feel blessed that we have a good relationship with them. They drive me insane sometimes, but that is bound to happen from time to time.
My parents live 900 miles away. So far we have seen them twice a year, about every 6 months. We have committed to every other Christmas back home with them since we got married and will continue to do this.
If we had moved to the States, it isnt likely we would be very close distance-wise to them due to my career field. I havent lived close to them in 5 years since I first moved away when I went to grad school. For the most part, living apart hasnt been rosy but it hasnt been super difficult either. We enjoy the weeks we get to see them and we keep in contact by phone weekly.
DH's family has often called me "brave" for moving so far away from my family. I dont feel brave at all, it was just something I sacrificed for my DH because he didnt want to move far away from his family. It wasnt such a big sacrifice when it was just the two of us.
When I was pregnant, it was hard not to have my family nearby. It made me sad that I didnt get to announce my pregnancy in person to them, instead settling for phone calls home. I never got to go shopping with my mother for cute baby clothes or baby stuff...I had to settle for my mother-in-law and I do not like shopping with her. My parents got to see my bump through Facebook pictures, not in person like everybody else. She, my aunts and my sister were not at our baby shower. Instead, I opened my parents package last knowing I would burst into tears anyway missing them and then friggin lost it with the ugly cry when I saw the gift they sent to me (a mini hockey jersey from my university). My parents didnt buy us much for the baby because my in-laws took over and bought all of the big items even when I asked them to wait and consider my parents too.
When Maxim was born, he was two weeks early and my parents had planned their trip up here to be 2 weeks after his due date. So they didnt get here until he was a month old. It made me incredibly sad that my parents, siblings and other family members didnt get to hold our brand newborn baby. I was slightly bitter that DH's family got to gush over our new baby, but my parents and family didnt. I dont have those precious pictures of them with him when he was that small but I love the photos I do have with them together. The rest of my family including my grandparents wont meet him until August when he will be 3 months old.
My friends dont understand how blessed they are to have their parents nearby. They may interfere at times and that is definitely frustrating but at least they still have them. I wonder daily when we'll ever get a date night to ourselves again because my DH doesnt want to pay for a babysitter and we dont have readily available and willing grandparents in town. Its not easy for us to just drop the baby off at Grandma's for the afternoon so we can sleep, go shopping or spend time together. We'll never be able to do that, it will always take weeks of planning ahead. I dont empathize with their complaints at all right now.
When my in-laws went on their trip recently, my MIL said "oh its going to be so hard and he's going to change so much in the 2 weeks we are gone." In front of my parents and me. I was really pissed off about it. Its incredibly insensitive of her to think this way and then say it in front of my parents when they would LOVE to have only 2 weeks between visits.
Then this weekend, DH's aunt said that "we're lucky that you are from far away because we get to see you and Maxim lots." Meaning far from my family so they get all the time with the baby that they want. Again...really insensitive and I just about lost it on her and burst into tears. Instead I clammed up, kissed my baby over and over and stopped talking to her, even when she tried to keep talking to me.
They also say "you must miss your parents a lot. They must miss the baby a lot."
I dont just miss my parents anymore. I used to miss them. Its more than missing them now. I have a large gaping hole in my heart that feels empty because they arent here. It is an empty pit in my stomach. I am scared that my son wont know the other half of his family. I'm mad that some of the family traditions we have, we wont get to share easily with my son. I fear that instead of running to my parents with a laugh and joy in his eyes when we see them, he'll be scared and shy and turn away not knowing them and their love. I have a very close relationship with all of my grandparents and I so hope that for my son too. We have webcams to make the connection easier but its not the same....it will never be the same as hugs, kisses, bags of candy, little toys, and I love you's in person.
I just wish for once that I would get a deep heartfelt thank you from DH...and from his family. For making this sacrifice I've made...for them. In 3 years, I've never been thanked for doing what I've done for them. My DH is very happy I've moved here with him and I dont doubt him. The least my in-laws could do is just simply thank me instead of making insensitive comments. I made a huge sacrifice for them and its really looming in my face now that my baby is here.
DH and I did long-distance before we got married. That was hard. Long-distance grandparents will be infinitely more difficult.