Questions 6-10

Questions 6-10 in the 365 questions...

6.) What do you wish you had spent more time doing 5 years ago? Five years ago I was graduating my Masters program in June, and getting married in October. I moved back home from Chicago until my wedding. I guess I wish I would have spent more time with my parents and family before my wedding because since my wedding I have lived in Canada with my husband. The distance between here and there is great and can feel very far at times. I also wish I had spent my last few months in Chicago trying one more restaurant, exploring one more museum and partying it up with my friends.

7.) Do you ask enough questions or do you settle for what you know? I think I tend to settle for what I know more often than I ask questions, but I will say this depends on the situation. In my work, I ask questions all the time. Its well over 50% of my mental activity and treatment of clients. So in my personal life, I tend to settle for what I know because I'm just so tired of questions. Plus my DH does a TON of questioning of everything so he does more than enough for us both. I have been analytical by nature since I was a little kid..hmm...so maybe I have a good balance of the two? Interesting question...haha...see...even my answer is slightly ambiguous in whether I continue to question or settle...

8.) Who do you love and what are you doing about it? I love my husband and I do it by showing respect. I treat him as an equal partner, work hard to not use harsh words or language against him, no name-calling, and I try not to nag or be controlling. I treat him as an adult to his face and when talking about him when he isn't around. I dont use sex for power and control (I like it too much to punish myself too, haha) or punishment. We have a no name calling unspoken rule in our marriage...I think if that was to happen, it would be a real sign of trouble. We dont even jokingly say "f-off" to each other and if he ever called me a bitch, I would have his balls in a jar.

9.) What's a belief that you hold with which many people disagree? I don't tend to hold too many controversial beliefs in my heart, and I don't really think my belief system is unique...we all think we're unique but really, we are too often alike too. Focusing too much on disagreements is what creates even bigger problems in my opinion so I haven't really thought about how my beliefts differ from others...I more interested in how they are similiar. In thinking of my line of work, services for women are way more abundant than they were 30+ years ago. Shelters, advocacy, counselling, and support for issues women weren't allowed to talk about or were even acknowledged to be a problem so many years ago are amazing to have for women nowadays. That said, I believe strongly there isnt enough for men as well. I believe in rights for men and in my line of work, too many things are advocated for women only and not for the men folk too. For example, why do women get free sexual assault counselling but male survivors of sexual assault have to pay for it out of pocket? Just one of my peeves when it comes to extreme feminism. My sisters in womanhood are so deserving and didnt get anything for so long but now the pendulum has swung so far we are leaving half the population behind in important issues to them.

10.) What can you do today that you were not capable of one year ago? One year ago I was in the midst of a pretty significant depression based on my lack of employment and feeling less than good about my contributions and self-esteem. Mix in some undiagnosed, untreated mild postpartum depression as well...I can say with 90% certainty I had some of that going on too. I think much of the contributing factors to that were uncertainty about my job situation, financial stress and knowing I wasn't a very good stay at home parent some days but not knowing when I would be back to work. It created a lot of anger, anxiety, emotional eating and lack of control. I can say today that I am capable of self awareness and recognition of how to manage these feelings and knowing it is all temporary. However long temporary is, its still temporary. To manage behavior when feelings and situations are temporary is a skill I have honed for myself and my own situation very well.