Heavy Heart...

With a heavy heart, I am writing tonight to send positive thoughts and prayers to a woman I know through an online community. She is pregnant with her first baby and her husband was murdered last night.

I have no words....it's truly a devastating tragedy.

Tons and tons of hugs, prayers and love to this friend and her precious "Tadpole."

PSA: Not Hormonally Challenged...

Thank you very much but NO not every display of emotion is connected to my "hormones."

And men...wtf would you know anyway?! Only my DH would get away with it since he really knows me....you're just an ignorant ass.

Oh and women...you dont like it very much when people imply you're "PMSing"...so why is it ok to call a pregnant chick "hormonal." There is ZERO difference in how it feels to hear it or what it really means, pregnant or not, other than the fact that pregnant women don't bleed. Furthermore, ignorant men reduce women to PMSing bitches so why commit girl on girl crime by reducing each other to either a PMSing bitch or a hormonal pregnant chick? Not cool.

Of all the crap I've heard, which I admit hasn't been much except very recently,....the "you can blame it on hormones," or "hormones" or "she's just a pregnant hormonal chick" really really piss me off.

I fully admit hormonal issues around 10 weeks due to anxiety I couldnt seem to control regarding my asshat midwife. I maintain that if the asshat midwife wasnt an asshat, my anxiety wouldnt have been as much of an issue.

I'm also entirely aware that hormones are a little crazy during pregnancy. Not every woman feels these effects the same though. Hormones are linked to all kinds of changes in a woman and not every woman goes through it the same. Suffice to say, not all women are affected this way through their emotions.

I spoke my mind before getting knocked up thanks....

I cried about random sentimental stuff before carrying a baby thanks...

I even got angry before pregnancy....

These emotions or behaviors are not new thanks...

Believe it or not....not every pregnant woman is a hormonally-challenged, uncontrollable, crying, yelling, emotional mess monster for 9 months..

Thanks for listening...if I actually told people this who say this crap, other than my close friends who have never said it and totally get why it gets on my nerves, I would hear....

Yep you guessed it..

"You're just hormonal."

I'm So Honored....

To have been nominated by Ruth for Beautiful Blogger! Thanks Ruth!

"The instructions that go along with this award are as follows:* Thank the person who nominated you for this award.* Copy the award and place it in your blog.* Link the person who nominated you for this award.* Tell us 7 interesting things about you.* Nominate 7 bloggers.* Post the links to the 7 bloggers you nominate. "

So my interesting things:

1.) I am currently reading at least 7 books, some pregnancy related, others are fiction. I cannot read one book at a time, I'm too obsessed, lol! I probably buy at least one book a month. I used to dabble in writing as a kid and teenager. Sometimes I think I would have been an author if I had nurtured that more but there is no way I'm good enough to write something that matters to anybody but me.

2.) I am a music nut. I'm highly critical of music, how it sounds, how it is written, and performances. I can listen to any genre, any day of the week. I have played four instruments in my lifetime, 3 of which are in the clarinet family...the Bb clarinet, bass clarinet and contra-alto clarinet. My Bb clarinet was my father's horn, passed down from him to his niece, then to my aunt and then to me. I passed it to a 13 year old cousin (my aunt's daughter) who didnt like it so I have it back now. It's approximately 40 years old and I'm going to permanently mount it very soon. I played the Bb until grade 9 when I switched to bass clarinet for concert bands. I played the Bb in marching band in university. The contra-alto is my favorite because its rarely played, I was able to play it for solos in pieces so I stood out a bit as the only contra-alto player, it is the second largest clarinet and when I first played it in 8th grade, I needed to stack two chairs to reach the mouthpiece.

3.) My DH and I have known each other since 2003 when we met online on a random messageboard. We met in 2005 in person. From 2005 until our wedding in October 2007, we spent various stretches of time together every few months and the total number of days we spent in person before getting married was 90 days!

4.) I have a recurring nightmare of gigantic thumbtacks that chase me in a large white, doorless, windowless room. I've had this nightmare since the age of 5. I have no idea what it symbolizes but I'm sure at different times in my life, it has held different meaning. It is very strange.

5.) I am intensely interested in the weather. My father was a farm boy and also obsessed with the weather and passed this on to me. I dont watch the weather channel nearly as much as him but when the skies are funky not only in look but smell...I go on high alert.

6.) I have lived through a flood that destroyed the lower half of our home when I was 15 years old. This natural disaster has shaped me more than any other event in my life. Like any trauma, I can recall incredibly minor things about the time period in great detail. I do not like spring anymore because when the snow melts, I can smell it mixed with sand which reminds me of the sandbags that failed to keep the water out of the town. Melting snow creates minor anxiety that it could flood again. I will never own a property near a body of water, especially a river. However, I love water and enjoy water sports, fishing and the like; I just respect it a great deal.

7.) I have tried dabbling in photography in the last couple of years but I'm not serious enough about it to get an expensive camera and really go to town on it. But I do find some beautiful shots especially when traveling or out in nature. I think it brings me closer to God, something I've also struggled with for several years now.

I nominate:

A.J.
Ella
Apple Pie
Ash
Aimless Thoughts
Kass
E

24 Weeks

Holy cow, 6 months already! Time has flown by, it really has!

To recap the month, not much has changed. Still feeling good. At my last appt, I've gained back those 2 lbs lost. So only a 2lb gain total at that point. All other vitals were good. Cant complain really.

Its hard to walk around with all this ice and snow. I'm a slow mover these days, I really dont want to fall. I tire much easier than before too. My feet and ankles get swollen at night but clears up during the day. My back and hips get quite sore in bed but still nothing intolerable. Dh gives me back and foot rubs every night.

I imagine I'll be sleeping in the recliner towards the end. Speaking of the recliner, its brand new! We used our Christmas money on it and it will go in the nursery to start with and then eventually downstairs in our rec room. Its a nice cushy recliner/rocker.

The baby is moving a ton but still can not get DH to feel at the right time. The baby will be going nuts and I'll go sit by DH and it'll stop. Or we'll be in bed and I'll tell him to feel for it and it'll stop. Total drama queen!!

We started on the baby's room. Its quite the project but we have lots of time yet to get it done.

Here is my 24 week pic! I actually look PG and not like I ate a big plate of cheeseburgers, haha! The Habs shirt is from DH's aunt. It totally doesnt fit at all, it wouldnt even fit before getting PG but she was sweet enough to buy it so I figured I had to wear for at least one pic. DH's family are huge Montreal Canadiens fans...the baby already has TWO cruiser sets with the Habs...one in 6-9 month and the other in 18 month, haha!