Thursday, July 23, 2009

Never Work Harder Than Your Client...

Ahh never were truer words spoken.

Or learned by me.

Especially recently.

I work with addicts.

I only have one client over the age of 30. Somehow I've been "specialized" into youth. Which is kinda cool because they are the client group I'm most comfortable with and probably most respected by due to my own age.

The thing about addicts is they come in all shapes, sizes, ages, statues, and drugs of choice.

I've decided that prescription pills are the devil incarnate.

And morphine really sucks.

Especially by needle.

Oh and booze....it should never take a young man's life so early.

But lately I find myself working harder than my clients. I do a shitload of paper work and phone calls and checking in...

Making sure I offer the best services possible...

And for what??? At least I'm kept busy I suppose.

But the paper trail certainly doesnt benefit them very much at all.

And I can only do so much. I certainly can't take them home with me or hold their hand all night.

Or flush the booze or take the needles away. Or hold them hostage in my office until they "hit the wall."

Somehow, there is this extremely popular myth that social workers/counsellors/psychologists are supposed to work miracles.

Sigh...

Working with people in need is my passion. I'm good at it and I love it.

The trouble is needy people wear you out fast.

Especially when you're working harder than they are.

And if there is one thing that addicts are really, really good at is doing just enough to live. Just enough to make it. Just enough to make everybody else work harder for them, than they are working for themselves.

Sometimes they seem like they want it bad enough.

"It" meaning a clean and sober life.

So they'll do whatever it takes to get it.

Or at least say they do. Make you think they do. Half-ass attempt to do it.

Sometimes they need a break. Sometimes they need a benefit of the doubt.

Other times, they need a swift kick in the arse.

I have two clients that have needed the swift kick recently.

One I have to say that I really like and really enjoy him because he comes every week without fail and I know its because its the only support he has right now.

But we had it out and he got a kick in the arse and it seems to be getting better. I'll be dropping him in short order if he doesn't stick it out and work harder than he has been so far.

The other one I think may die.

I'm being totally serious. She is too. She doesnt think she'll make it to 30.

I'm not sure if she'll make it til the end of tonight.

She's a fiend. For the needle.

A fiend.

Pumping her veins full of poison. Enough poison to numb the pain. Pain that I can't see or touch or ever fully understand.

What if she numbs too much?

What if she has already??

The spectre of death seems to follow this girl. And I can't get her help fast enough.

Damn red tape and bureaucratic bullshit.

Damn rules and regulations.

Damn wait-lists and processes.

I'm not a miracle worker....I can't carry that burden. I can't carry the burden my clients carry of getting themselves better....

But I so hope this client makes it long enough...

Survives just a little longer...

To see what its like on the other side of the wall...

2 comments:

  1. Wow, I can't imagine having a job that intense. I hope the good moments/successes keep you motivated to keep trying to help.

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  2. I somehow wondered onto your blog when I googled "working harder than the client". I work in the mental health/addictions/criminal justice field. Feeling especially defeated today when 2 of my clients have gone missing (relapsed).
    I've never considered a blog, but this may have inspired me to annonymously share my thoughts and feelings about my work.
    Thank you

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