Do you think that children automatically get a nickname associated with their name (if a nickname is possible) or do you think that parents can influence how their children are addressed by friends, family, teachers and others?
Remove this question from a 15 year old teenager with friends that will probably call him or her whatever they want including Boner...that is entirely different and not something that concerns me at all.
My family does not use nicknames and I hate nicknames for the most part....so I believe that you can control how your child is addressed since nobody in my family uses nicknames. DH however thinks that nicknames will happen no matter what we do or say (for example...a Maxim would be come Max)
What do you think?
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That's a good question. My family isn't big on nicknames, and neither is DH's, so there probably won't be nicknames for our kids from family members. I wouldn't think that friends (of ours) or teachers would do it unless told otherwise (i.e. your Maxim/Max example).
ReplyDeleteI know other Alyssa's (or Alisa, Alissa, etc.) had nicknames because they wanted to be called that - but no one ever used a nickname for me because I went by Alyssa.
Not sure if that makes sense, but when choosing names, I know DH and I will take the short forms into consideration (for example, we wouldn't choose Richard, because we don't like Rich or Dick; or Alexandra, because we don't like Alex or Andy, etc.).
Honestly if it is family I don't think we really have the right to say that we don't want a certain nickname being used. For example I never used nicknames growing up and neither did my mom but it would have been totally acceptable if an aunt, uncle, etc had called me by a nickname as I think that is just one way that family members have their own special bonds with children.
ReplyDeleteSo to answer your question I guess there is maybe some control to be had but at the same time I wouldn't pick any name where you hated the nicknames as there are way too many uncontrollable variable like friends.
We went with a name that I love and which I am guessing I will only use in full but I also like the nicknames associated with the name and don't mind if others use them:)
For teachers of course you can have them call your child whatever you want- but your child's friends even WAY before highschool will be calling your child whatever they like/the child likes and that could very well be Max instead of Maxim. Of course you could try telling a 6 year old that you son's name is Maxim not Max but that to me seems very over the top:) For your friends you could do the whole his name is Maxim not Max and I am sure they would respect that.
Good Luck on the name hunt!
As Elizabeth, my name got shortened into tons of nicknames, even though my parents only called me Elizabeth. I go by a different name at church, w/the in-laws, w/different friends, etc. Most of them came up with the name on their own.
ReplyDeleteRegardless, if you like Maxim, name him that and call him that. He'll know it's his name, even if it gets shortened by friends!
I think you can definitely decide how you want your child to be addressed. For example, I went to school with a Richard. He was Richard -- not Rick, Rich, Dick...
ReplyDeleteI also have known a Michael, Robert, James, Angela, Patricia, Christian -- they were NOT Mike, Rob, Jim, Angie, Pat and Chris -- everyone called them by their full, given name.
Alyssa,
ReplyDeleteGlad to know your family has similar name attitudes so your post makes total sense to me.
Ash,
I guess because my family doesnt use nicknames, I would never presume that to call any future nieces or nephews by a nickname either, to create a bond or no. I generally follow the parents lead when it comes to names so I would hope that family and friends would do the same. Knowing how much thought people put into naming their children is another reason I use full names unless otherwise notified. My aunt has 4 children...her oldest daughter is Madison and my aunt HATES Maddy...so she totally squashed any nicknames even when other family or friends tried. But her younger daughter is Kennedy and calls her Kenny sometimes so she gets called Kenny sometimes by other people too.
My child's friends...that doesnt matter. Kids are kids and will do whatever no matter what I say. I would never be that unreasonable. I would think that if the child learned to be addressed by his full name, that he would come to be preferred that way of being addressed but obviously the kid will have a mind of his own and will make up his own mind eventually. And if I tried to pick a name with nicknames I could live with, this child wouldnt have a name because I really really dont like nicknames unless the name is super long and cumbersome and even then I probably wouldnt use those names anyway.
Liz,
Thanks for your thoughts! I know another Elizabeth who primarily goes by Liz and not by other NN's. No matter what, our kid will definitely know their name, hehe :)
AJ
I knew many people that also went by their full names and no nicknames. Kathryn, Richard,Patricia, Melissa, Jennifer...all go by their full names