9 Weeks

My pants are getting tight! But I weighed myself and still the same pre-pregnancy which is good for me since I probably will be advised to only gain about 15 pounds throughout the pregnancy. Aaack...and I'm sure I'll need a new bra next week.

I finally got a call today from my midwife's secretary after THREE messages to them since Wednesday. She said that my MW would be calling me "soon" to set up another appointment. Apparently she's been "busy with a lot of births" but still...a phone call goes a really long way for someone that so far hasn't been impressed with the level of professionalism displayed. I know midwives are busy people and babies come whenever and wherever but just a simple little phone call from her secretary to let me know would have been wonderful.

My friend who recently gave birth in May and had this woman was so upset to hear how difficult it has been for me with this MW. She gave a really glowing recommendation of the lady, the practice and the secretary as well. So I really don't get it and I really hope it doesn't become a pattern.

So emotional was I on Friday night about this whole thing that as I was going to bed, I laid there thinking irrationally "What if I don't get to see anybody? What if the docs can't see me? Nobody cares about me or my baby." Seriously...the crap that goes on in your mind is wild. Never before would I have thought such things before but I was seriously close to tears and had to practice grounding techniques to get back to earth!!

I've decided that getting up to pee every hour in the night is THE most annoying pregnancy symptom by far. And I have a full freaking bladder every time even though its been HOURS since I had something to drink. So weird. And I didn't sleep well last night in general and I was so frustrated because I kept tossing and turning and I kept looking over at my DH who was sleeping so wonderfully thinking, you lucky jerk. I had to take a nap this afternoon and I slept so good for an hour. So I'll have to practice pelvic lifts and kegels to hopefully help with getting up at night.

I really can't wait to see and hear the baby's heartbeat. Its been on my mind a lot today and this weekend. I so hope everything is going ok in there but I have no reason to believe otherwise. Only my one aunt has a child with a congenital defect and the women in my family have carried healthy babies to term with relatively good pregnancies. My mother did miscarry one child at 6 weeks but her mother did not miscarry so I think the odds are in our favor. Of course we have no control and can only pray for a healthy, happy baby. I think the reason I'm thinking about this so much is the lack of that first appointment. Even though the liklihood of hearing or seeing the baby at that point is low, I think its the whole ordeal and feeling like a lack of care even though I'm not behind really. I will still get an U/S at 13ish weeks to check out everything which is only a few weeks away at this point.

But its amazing how much I look forward to Mondays...Mondays are my weeks and its a relief to get to another Monday to start a new week on this journey.