Ok this is completely irrational and unreasonable of me. The rational and reasonable side of me is completely aware and understands this.
But I can NOT stop getting teary about this. Seriously. Unreasonable hormones.
I haven't had the chance to hear my baby's heart beat.
Or see my baby.
And I'm so unreasonably upset and sad about this.
I really need to stay off the 'tubes for awhile because women on my EC have been able to hear the heartbeat by now or are getting their NT scans and other 12 week scans and I'm not. Some women are't getting any U/S until 18-25 weeks but they at least know that is what to expect. If I wasn't getting a U/S until then and knew that right now, I know I wouldn't be having these unreasonable emotions about it.
And I don't know when I am and I don't know what to expect.
My DH only feels somewhat connected to this pregnancy which is understandable because nothing is happening to him physically and he can't "see" anything happening yet.
An ultrasound would really help me and my DH get more connected to this baby.
And more importantly to know everything is going ok in there.
Again, unreasonable sadness.
But it heightens once again for me that I feel that I've been getting extremely sub-standard care for this pregnancy thus far compared to other women that I know in real life who have given birth and talked about their pre-natal care with me. They have stated a 12-14 week scan is a normal occurrence and yet the doctor I saw said that it isn't necessary but that he could possibly order one for me. So which is it and which will it be for me? I need information but when I call I feel like a major pain in their ass and like I don't matter, or one of "those first time" moms who gets "anxiety" over every little thing. Seriously, I'm not. I'm the most laid back person ever, any anxiety I've experienced over the last few weeks has been completely warranted due to the asshat midwife and her practices. Again if an ultrasound at this stage isn't warranted, then a doctor needs to tell me because I would be ok if I knew what was to be expected. And even if I don't get a U/S right now, can I at least hear my baby's heartbeat?
It does not help I'm getting shit on at work over something completely out of my control and completely not my fault. So between that bullshit at work and this...
Completely unreasonable. My rational and logical side knows this completely.
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I know in Germany there are 3 standard ultrasounds. The 1st screening which occurs at 9-12 weeks, The 2nd screening which occurs at 19-22 weeks, and the 3rd screening which occurs at 29-32 weeks.
ReplyDeleteI would consider all of these warranted for different reasons and am suprised that the doctor you talked to said it wasn't. Although a general doc just might not know what normal procedures are.
I know the system is so different there, but is there any way you can contact an OBGYN directly?
I am really sorry that you are forced to deal with this, it isn't fair at all. I hope your care really improves in the coming weeks.
From what other women have told me here in Canada, they got at least two, sometimes three ultrasounds during their pregnancy. What the standard care is, I have no idea.
ReplyDeleteI did try to contact an OB directly before going to a GP, but they told me I needed a referral and that they were not taking appointments until March. So I have to go this route through a GP. Its completely stupid.
Hmm, when is the GP going to make the referral? I know you don't want to feel like the "crazy" pregnant woman, but I would ask her/him to please make you a referral for an U/S as well. Honestly if you have to make something up-like you fell down and are worried- I would. I know that sounds bad but honestly I would be sick of waiting at this point as well. Having just come back from an U/S today it is amazing how much they can reassure you, and you and your DH would both benefit so much from one at this point. I hope it works out!
ReplyDeleteI don't think you are being unreasonable or irrational to want to hear the baby's heartbeat and have your first ultrasound. Most women I know get the first one around 12 weeks and another around 20 weeks (to find out the sex among other things).
ReplyDeleteIt makes me crazy that doctors treat patients like they are being a "pain." You are right to advocate for your own health and the health of your baby. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Ash,
ReplyDeleteI have a follow-up with the GP in two weeks and I will know more then. From what I understand, he was going to make the referral to the OB soon but he was very non-committal about making an appt for an ultrasound. His reasoning was "most PG's go normally and if you know your due date, it doesn't seem like a necessary U/S." I would really like to know ahead of time because I would like my DH to be there too of course. And I've thought about faking a fall story or something but they would send me to the ER and that place has been swamped with flu people and its practically on lock-down with 9 hour waits. So that would just create more issues.
AJ,
It makes me crazy when docs treat people like this too. Its like they don't realize there is a human being with feelings (and hormonally driven ones at times) and need reassurance about their health and the health of their baby.
It sounds like the GP doesn't know what he is talking about! All ultrasounds are unnecessary as are half the appts we have- BUT there is still value to them for both the doctor and the pregnant person. You can find problems earlier and just see that everything is progressing as it should. I think you should be able to get an ultrasound now or at the very least someone should take the heartbeat of the baby (this takes like 30 seconds- I don't understand why he didn't do it at your appt!!) As by the time you finally get in to the OB you will be nearing your "big ultrasound" in terms of how far along you are!
ReplyDeleteAre there any freestanding ultrasounds places within an hour or two of you? As that would be my next step. At this point you can see a little baby in there:)
I get the feeling he is a very old school GP...a very nice and caring doctor but very traditional. He mentioned he used to do U/S but also mentioned he didn't think a U/S was a good idea until 26-28 weeks! I'll be in the 3T by then! Also, I have to schedule the big U/S with the hospital which he did give me the paperwork for at my visit. But another scan, I think he has to be the one to do it. The HB...I dont think he had a doppler machine available in his office.
ReplyDeleteAs for a free-standing clinic, they are not available up here. If I lived in Toronto or Ottawa, I suppose that may be available to me but both of those cities are 3-4 hour drives away.
I may just call his nurse today to speak with her about what to expect as far as an U/S at this point in the PG. I need to get my emotions in check or I might start bawling on the phone though. Ugh!