Tears = A Small Meaningful Victory

A client I've been seeing since February who has been struggling a lot with alcoholism and mental health issues has been riding a very bumpy wave.

He agreed about a month ago that he would start to address "real" issues that were "deeper" than he has touched on before.

So we started with an exercise in "sitting amongst your shit" aka "here are some cards with negative emotions, how do they make you feel having to face them." Yes I made it up. But "sitting amongst your shit" aka "dealing with crappy unpleasant stuff in life" is not a skill many addicts have at all which is why they abuse drugs and alcohol.

It was quite effective. I almost got him to cry. At the very least, he started to talk.

Today he came back for a session after the card session and he had been struggling again. Not due to the exercise, just due to life being "normal" and he not being able to cope.

By the end of the session, we touched more on shame and guilt and he got pretty emotional but still no tears. We dug into some childhood stuff. He was scratching himself, rubbing his neck, rubbing his eyes, running his hands up and down his legs...basically everything possible to NOT cry. He has said many times he has never cried in front of others.

But he finally let go.

He did it.

He cried.

And he felt real, serious, honest emotions for the first time in months.

It was a victory.

Not for me though but for him.

He desperately NEEDED to cry and to do it in a place that is safe and without judgment.

His relief was palpable.

A small but every meaningful victory.

I'll take it.